Midterm Project by Mike Yonas Section 14 group 3

                        Friendship?

When I thought about posting a blog for this class, the first thing that came to my mind was something that we discussed in this class. I am interested in talking about friendship. What is friendship? How do you know if someone is your friend? Do your Facebook count as your friends?  Is friendship neutral from a moral point of view? We will see what Alexander Nehams think about that... Is friendship important for people? What makes someone your friend? What is someone’s responsibility as a friend?   

                                                                                               

Before becoming a friend with someone, perhaps the first thing understanding what friendship is. Does that mean having each other in on Facebook in your friends list? Or seeing each other every Tuesday and Thursday in philosophy class? Not really. A friend needs to have some key elements in order to be labeled as friendship. In my opinion I do not think it’s enough to see a person in philosophy class every Tuesday and Thursday and enjoy their company.  A friend to truly be considered a friend, he or she has to also believe you are their friend also. This can get tricky, because most people have a different idea of what friendship really means. Some people are instantly trusting of new people, and accept them into their heart without question. For these types of people, they assume someone is their friend until they find out otherwise.

However, some people might act "friendly" with someone but not consider them a friend for quite a while. Perhaps these types of people need to get to know someone better before they even consider labeling them as a friend or they already have a lot of friends and therefore wouldn't consider someone they see in class every Tuesday and Thursday a friend. However, this can cause problems, for example when someone counts on a person they believe to be a friend only to find out they were wrong. It's a not a perfect world, but in terms of friendship, someone who is genuinely a friend usually do things with you. Such as, get together and have a lunch, workout together, party together, get in trouble together, fight with each other, tell each other they love each other, help each other, be there for each other through hard times and good times, have each other’s back, and love each other no matter what.

In my opinion I think friends should be kind, caring and act as a positive influence in your life. Real friends should make you feel good, as opposed to bring you down. People who are your real friend put your relationship above being right or trying to feel superior. If your friend constantly constantly puts you down, he or she is not a real friend. So, in that case you do not need that person in your life.

However, people have bad days and act imperfect, so there are times when a true friend will be negative or hurt your feelings. The way to determine if they are really a friend (as opposed to something more negative like a frenemy) is to look at the whole of your relationship. Don't look at moments alone, but also consider, how does this person make you feel when you’re with them, can you share your joy freely with them? If someone is really your friend, they act in a kind manner. They do nice things for you. If they kindly ask you to do things for them without ever reciprocating, chances are they aren't really a friend. Friends don't keep score, but there is a balance to the relationship. Sometimes one friend might be in the spotlight, while the other is cheering them on. Friends should trade off in giving each other the floor in a conversation and in life, and should understand when the moment is their friends and not theirs.

How do you know if someone is your friend?  In my opinion I think the key component to friendship is a real, face-to-face, relationship. This isn't to say that after you have established a friendship, you can't still be friends with them once they move away. After all, in order to have a real friendship in the, you do have to see and spend time with each other. Another point is a friendship is like all relationships, is based on trust. It’s not based on you giving all the time and others taking. It’s sharing the same ideals and having things in common and the friends being able to give and to take from the friendship. Also like all relationships it takes time to be really close friends. So be careful what you say and don’t talk bad about others who are supposed to be your friends. It’s based on honesty and being yourself.

Alexander Nehamas defines friendship as an extraordinarily important relationship in almost everybody’s life. Alexander thinks that friendship is profoundly valuable without locating its value in morality. At some point he said friendship is not just valuable, but absolutely necessary to us, it is difficult to live without it. So, this tells us how much friendship is important to people in everyday life. Alexander thinks the word “friend” is very general. I agree with him at this point because we can have very casual friends, very close lifelong friends, and everything in between friends. However, our most casual friends play a very limited role in our lives. But close friends are absolutely essential to the development of our character and personality. But when you put all these relationships together, their effect, ideally, is to help constitute a person that is not only distinctive but interestingly so. I like this idea of Alexander’s because the interestingly thought is unfortunately where the difficulties are.  

Favorite quotes

“Your worst enemy could be your best friend, and your best friend your worst enemy.”

                                                                                                    -  Bob Marley quotes 

“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”

                                                                                                   ― Albert Camus

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”

                                                                                                   ― Elbert Hubbard