Identity in a Name

"Names have a strong link to their bearers' identities..." 79 What is in a name? Do you think it's a coincidence that peoples' names often predict/reflect their occupations? Can you think of ways in which your life would be significantly altered if you'd been differently christened?

“The family name (also Sidney) is literally "dweller by the well-watered land," from Old English sid "side" + ieg "island."
I defiantly do not identify with my name as a label given to an object. I "filled" out my name over time. My name has become me.

I remember always asking my mom why I was named Sydney Katherine Ray. My mom said that she and my dad disagreed on many names. Jessica was a winner for my dad. But, my mom thought it was too long. Once I was born my parents had to decide. They could not call me “the baby” like my godmother when no one gave her a name for years. My grandmother said, “Why, not Sydney,” then, “Why not Katherine because she has the name on both sides.” My father gave me without discussion my family name. It was settled. The name pleased my mother and father. It wasn't too long, it 'matched' my family, it represented my dead family members, and it was me. I was Sydney Katherine Ray by their decree.

As I reflect on this as an adult I notice most parents have named their child before they even know the sex. “If it is a boy…. And if it a girl….” I cannot wrap my head around this. What if the baby isn’t a John or Jane when they arrive? I always felt there was a power in names. But I am not sure if I am right. But, I do I think we grow into our names.

Sydney is a hard name for kids to say. I was often called “Cindy” in class. My teachers often thought I was a boy because it is a unisex name (and God forgive if my mom put me in a blue outfit as a baby). As for my middle name, I couldn’t spell it. Katherine is a long confusing name for a kid who struggles with vowels. It was my great- grandmothers’ names from both of my parents’ sides. As for Ray, there was no choice. I was given my father’s name. At least it was easy to spell.
 I was called “sunray” by a teacher describing me in second grade using my last name as a clue for a puzzle game, I wrote my given name and given number based on my last name at the head of my worksheets in grade school, I sign my passport to travel, I signed the bottom of my art, my work email is “sray”, and I signed a marriage certificate. It is as if everything I do - good or bad, my name follows me around. It changes as I change. It is like my identity was using my name.

So when I got married I was expected to change my name. I did not change my name when I married. My husband didn’t care. So, I kept my name - to his family’s confusion. It felt like an assault to take away a name given to me by my father. It was as if I was "changing" my identity when I married. It is so strange that my name became so personal to me. It would be like taking a part of my body away.

Thus, maybe, the reason I find it strange to give a baby a name before birth is that the baby is unseen, a seed not yet unfolded above the earth. My name will be forever associated with me. By me, I mean my seen body, my actions in this world, and my possessions/creations. I have filled this name given to me like a child growing into clothing. I bloomed into the name “Sydney”.  I have used it. A baby in the womb is still connected to the mother, unseen. It needs to be seen, to be able to grow, and use a name…. Or it is just a label on blankets and diaper bags. But, I am strange. Go ahead and name the flower before it uncurls from the dirt. It will not change who they are. It will still be a rose... Anyways, the label is the reflection of the parents' identity until the child grows into the name. (return to the beginning) Heck, my parents just needed to name me something. I was already born!

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet".

• Am I Sydney? No.  - in the sense that I was given the name, and I grew into the name. I am not the label “dweller by the well-watered land”.
•  
• Roll Call: Sydney? "Here." - I answer and use the name. It identifies me.
•  
• Could I have another name? Yes.  - for example, I can change my last name right now.
•  
• Will I be the same person? Yes - but my “past” was experienced with the name Sydney. Sydney is still there like the underlayer of an onion.
•  
• If I was named differently, as a baby, would I be different? No.  - my art, documents, credit cards, and signature would be different. I would have filled this other name - Jessica- regardless.
  EXCEPTIONS: If my parents named me something which did not represent their identity (class, race, social standing). ( Freakonomics)
•  

So, Hi, I am Sydney. That is my name, Sydney, a "label" given to me that is linked to who I am/ my parents. I do not dwell by a well-watered land.

I hope that wasn't too confusing...?

However: Freakonomics has studies of how a name can matter in certain parts if one’s life.

The gist: a kid’s name can tell us something about his parents — their race, social standing, even their politics. But is your name really your destiny?