Up@dawn 2.0

Thursday, January 29, 2015

H01 Group 1 Peripatetic Discussion

In our walk around the BAS and LRC, our group discussed the practical difficulties that arise in relationships when disagreements inevitably happen.  We started by talking about the "laundry list" of requirements for a perfect other half, mentioned in the larger group discussion, and we said either that there was no such thing for us, or that it was less a pre-decided list that we kept and more a code of standards that, if not upheld in a relationship, caused friction.  We differentiated between this sort of disparity of expectations and a difference in belief.  For example: one participant said he and his girlfriend held vastly different political and religious beliefs, but they both believed that they were entitled to their own opinions, so the relationship worked.  We then discussed situations that could complicate a relationship:  What if two people love each other, but their career and life goals would lead them in very different directions?  What if one prioritizes the relationship more than the other?  What if one wants a family and the other doesn't?  The answers to these questions, we eventually concluded, are somewhat situation-specific.  In general, we said to the first that the two must decide which is more important to them--their relationship or their career goals, bearing in mind that too much one-sided sacrifice (one person giving up all his/her career pursuits to follow the other person) could lead to resentment and automatically deprioritizes one person in the relationship.  To the second and third, we said that if a person is in a relationship, and especially if that relationship leads to a family, the partner and family are the number one priority.  If a person is the type to put work first in most situations, he or she needs to look for human connection in good friends.  If there is a disagreement about whether to have kids, the couple should weigh the one's desire for a family against the other's desire to not have kids and decide if they can work it out.

7 comments:

  1. I liked our example of American Sniper. Chris Kyle was already a Navy Seal when he met his wife, but they decided that it would be worth it to stay together and start a family even though his career choices would interfere. His career goals led him overseas and into dangerous situations everyday while his wife stayed home with their children. Eventually his job did interfere, but Kyle made the decision to go home to his family because that was more important.

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    1. I like this example too. It proves that some people truly place love and family above their careers and personal goals, a quality we all agree is needed in having a family.

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  2. I think once you fall in love, that preconceived 'laundry list' seems a little less important. However, there are certain things, such as religion, that are important to me personally. Differing beliefs and religion can cause controversy in a relationship once people actually get married and have children. Each person makes life decisions and wants to raise their children according to their beliefs, and when a husband and wife disagree, that can cause friction in their relationship.

    I enjoyed our discussion about how work can affect a relationship because in our society I think there are a lot of people that have kids when they maybe shouldn't... That might sound a little harsh, but if you don't have time to raise your children properly, it is not fair to anyone. This also hits home for me personally because the career I am looking to go into does not afford a lot of free time! Things like this are really important to consider in relationships.

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  3. FQ: What was Aristotle's answer to the question "how should we live?" (LH 11)
    FQ: What does the word ethika mean literally? (PB 21)
    FQ: (T/F) Another name for the Design Argument is the Teleological Argument. (P 11)

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  4. Part of our service at church yesterday reminded me of our class discussion. We talked about how all couples have conflict, and there is no perfect person out there that you will never have conflict with. Conflict is natural in relationships, but part of the relationship is about overcoming conflict and not letting it come between two people. If you skip to 25:00 he starts to talk about conflict, but the whole video is great to watch if you have the time :)

    http://vimeo.com/118425922

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    1. I really like that! It ties in very well. Not only the part about overcoming inevitable conflict, but the part about a career not becoming more important than a marriage.

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    2. FQ: What is eudaimonia sometimes translated as? (LH 11)
      FQ: What is "truth by authority"? (LH 14)

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