Bad roommate
My Roommate’s Boyfriend Still Visits Despite the Outbreak. Can I Object?
I am a woman in my mid-20s and live with a female roommate in Massachusetts. We have been under a stay-at-home advisory because of Covid-19, and we both now work remotely. For the past few weeks, I have been practicing social distancing, going out only to the supermarket and for walks and runs and keeping six feet between myself and others. Although I’m at a low (but not nonexistent) risk of falling seriously ill from the coronavirus, I don’t want to make more vulnerable members of the population sick, contribute to the spread of this virus or use up valuable health care resources.
My roommate, however, has continued to see her boyfriend. He comes over to our apartment every day around dinnertime. They typically cook dinner in our kitchen and then he stays over. The next morning, he eats breakfast in our living room and goes to his apartment to work remotely. He comes back to our apartment after work and does it all over again. My roommate’s boyfriend lives with roommates, and the roommates are not practicing social distancing to the extent that I am. The roommates are continuing to see several friends. I’m not confident that they’re all taking the proper precautions... (continues... The Ethicist responds...)
As much as quarantine is annoying, not practicing social-distancing is just selfish, think about other people not just about yourself!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that not practicing social-distancing is a "selfish" act and really undermines the effort by first responders who a risking the health and safety of their families for yours.#11
DeleteWhenever I read something written by someone who has such a broad vocabulary and philosophical grasp I'm always so impressed. I strongly agree with their argument of autonomy. I think that's a major problem with many of the people who are refusing to take proper precautions, particularly the young, college-aged people. It's sad to think someone, and so many, would rather be independent and ignorant than vigilant and safe. Times like these really show peoples true colors - exposing the idiots.
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day every american has their rights with our constitution. But i agree how its is really rude to do that to someone. if the roommate really wanted to see her boyfriend then why not just go to his place, since she doesn't care about the self quarantine rules then just go to his place.
ReplyDeleteI relate to this post on a great level. I live with 3 roommates and 2 of us are still working during the pandemic. One of our roommates who isn't working still continues to go and see his friends and travel to the next county over despite being potentially exposed to the virus through us who could have been exposed at our jobs. It bothers me to no end that they would risk the lives of others and be so flippant about where they go and where they come from but they don't seem to care.
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People will make the selfish choice because they can, human nature is not going to change because of a virus that many see as flu like. Some people simply can not keep their sanity if they stay isolated, others have already accepted the fact they are likely going to catch it. At the end of the day stupid people will do stupid things.
DeleteI definitely understand. It has been hard to go through this isolation but I feel that my roommate, along with others, could make more health conscious choices that would benefit them in the long run.
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But what if those people are taking the proper precautions as well? Is there such a thing as getting to paranoid. What if there are other factors that are making this harder for the individual outside the safety due to the Covid-19.
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It's an extremely inconsiderate move by her roommate. I would sit down with the roommate and just explain how it makes you worried and/or uncomfortable with her boyfriend coming over. Most decent people will respect that and attempt to remedy the situation. If not, then disinfect a lot.
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ReplyDeleteIt is discourteous of her roommate, however I assume they both pay for their space and as such are entitled to do what they want in their home. Everyone has the right to do as they see fit however they do not have the right to force others to. For instance if I go to work I have to see people. No one has the authority over me to tell me to stop working and starve because I cant afford food.
I think this is a difficult situation. I know that it's really hard to say no to hanging out with those you love because of the outbreak. I think it's inconsiderate of her roommate, but firstly, this girl just needs to talk to her roommate about the issue. I actually have considered seeing my boyfriend but it is a bit of a different situation. Her has moved back home with his parents and hasn't seen any of his roommates of other friends since, and his parents have been social distancing as well. I think our situation is fine but I do still worry in the back of my mind that I could accidentally spread it to his family from just going to the grocery store or something.
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ReplyDeleteAlthough it is extremely inconsiderate, roommates should still feel comfortable enough to talk with one another and come up with a solution. There is this thing called video chat. No, it's not the same as being physical near your significant other, but it could prevent a lot of tension. Personally, I think people are taking this far too serious (or I could not be taking it serious enough, who knows). I understand this is the first time it has affected our daily lives, but we have been risking the spread of germs and sickness throughout the years... thousands... millions of years. There is no way to avoid that unless we are forced to stay indoors for the rest of our lives and even that could still cause some sort of sickness. We will adapt like we always have. No one likes to get sick -- whether that be mild or serious -- but that's the risk we have to accept as humans. The world is full of diseases and it's about time we accept that and just live life to the fullest. I'd be damned if I'm on my death bed regretting the choices I made because I chose to let a weird, new illness take over my life.
This problem clearly hits a nerve with a lot of people...
ReplyDelete"Roommates in Coronavirus Era: ‘Friends’ It Isn’t"
Living with a roommate has always included some drama. But these days, once petty grievances about cleanliness or visitors have morphed into arguments over safety... https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/21/us/coronavirus-roommates.html?searchResultPosition=2
I believe that the roommate and her boyfriend are just downright irresponsible and selfish. The reason our lives have been uprooted is because of selfish people like them. Section 6
ReplyDeleteThey’re just selfish and irresponsible. People like them are the reason we are in the position we are now. section 6
ReplyDeleteEveryone is super annoying, myself included. We're all incredibly selfish and should try harder, but the last roommate I had we clashed heads a little bit to. While yes, every American has rights, those rights are commonly limited where others begins (Just cause you like hunting doesn't mean you have a right to hunt what/where ever you want), and the quarantine has difficult to address elements like that to it. It's a very difficult to legislate space, especially when the people at the very top have no desire or ability to legislate anything.
ReplyDeleteI was initially not against the boyfriend coming over, until the statements of his roommates not practicing social distancing and therefore making not only the author of the author interact with him, but by extension all of the others that are not socially distancing. Especially if the boyfriend and her roommate are in the common area and kitchen the whole time, which is just extensively annoying
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