Self, Spinoza's God, DMT, and Other Pompous Philosophies I Adhere To Therein (PT I Sec.9)

Andrew Eidson (Section 9)

Word Count: 567

Self, Spinoza's God, DMT, and Other Pompous Philosophies I Adhere To Therein (Part One)

Why is everything here? What is my relationship to everything else? Who am I? Who are these other people? Is there something beyond what I can see with my own two eyes?

These are questions everyone asks themselves. These are questions philosophers ponder and try to prove. Personally, I spend much time thinking about many of these things.

The most curious question I've pondered is the debate of self. What is “self” and how do I approach my view of my 'self' in a universe full of other selves.

I'm fairly partial to the Thelemic philosophy that my body and ego are merely manifestations of this Malkuthian plane. We are simply “Wills” inside of earthly vessels. To attain enlightenment, one must come in contact with his or her inner self through meditation and ritual.

I meditate quite often, trying to shed the ego from shackling down my True Will. As a Thelemite, I believe that “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Love is the law, love under Will.”

This is a directive to follow my True Will. Not the Nietzsche-esque version of “will” where he implies that it's an earthly desire to will yourself to do something.

The True Will is analogous to the soul before it enters the solar system, before it reaches earth. Think of it as your “self” in its purest form. One must come in contact to find their deeper meaning. Once a person finds their True Will, they are to go and do that and nothing else.

This is similar to the Buddhist concept of anatta that believes that there is no self. What you recognize as you is merely a vessel and not subject to death and rebirth. It believes that self is derived from the Five Skhandas. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I know what we commonly perceive as ourselves is an elaborate facade encircling our true universal selves – the self that does experience death and rebirth.

Our common perception of self is a sham. I try to explain this to people and all they can think about is their will to go eat and drink. We are like onions, needing to be peeled to the very core in order to get in contact with our true selves.

One can reach this through intense meditation, rituals, or through a drug called DMT. I used to make an herbal tea called Ayahuasca that contains this chemical. It's commonly known as the spirit molecule. It is the same molecule that is dumped into the bloodstream on a near-death experience.

I made some for myself and tripped for nine hours, with a five hour peak. I felt like I was dying, and I felt like all my guilt had been dissipated. I could sense vibrations in everything (which is what lead me to seek an interest in Hermetic philosophy.) I could see colors, and feel their vibrations. Time was dilapidated, and my brain kept fluctuating frequencies from 0 to maximum.

I realized that I was just meat and bones. Twitching muscles. I also felt like I was part of everything. I was connected to the universe. I was the universe. I was just another nodule of what I thought was God.

The self had died, and the God had been born.

More on this next time, in part 2!