The Onion and Philosophy: God Vs. The Onion - Jonathan Wagner H0-3

The chapter "God vs the Onion" in The Onion and Philosophy examines the relationship between God's existence and the existence of evil; the Problem of Evil. The Onion, a satirical fake news publication, addresses the Problem Of Evil often by creating narratives about God. 

18th century philosopher David Hume, in his book Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion,  proves God is not real with a set of six premises:

1. If God exists, he is all-knowing, all-good, and all-powerful
2. Bad things happen
3. If God doesn't know about bad things, He can't be all knowing
4. If God doesn't have the power to prevent bad things, He can't be all-powerful
5. If God knows about the bad things and doesn't want to prevent them, He can't be all good. 
6. Therefore, God doesn't exist.  

With regards to the first premise, the entire argument is invalid if any one of God's qualifiers are removed.

• If God is not all-knowing, he can't be accountable for evil. The Onion addresses this in the story, "God Returns From 2,000 Year Vacation".

• If God is not all-good, the Problem of Evil doesn't exist. In the Onion articles, "God To Use Power for Evil", and "God Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder", God doesn't have morals, which explains the existence of evil

• If God is not all-powerful, he can't fix evil. Headlines like "God Late for Local Wedding" and "Christ Announces Hire of Associate Christ" paint God as imperfect. This makes him willing but unable to address human suffering. 

The Free Will Defense attacks the Problem of Evil with the notion that people create evil. God gave humans free will, so he couldn't be responsible for suffering. The book pokes holes in this theory, mainly that it doesn't account for natural evils like earthquakes. Also, free will is not logically more virtuous than the absence of suffering. If God were to give people free will that allows for all evil, that could refute his eternal goodness. 

The Onion refutes the Free Will Defense in their article "Sports Unable to Heal Small Town Following Tragedy". The article brings to light the fact that God, in their universe, allowed a gunman to kill innocent people through free will. A God that turns a blind eye to the misuse of freewill might not be all good. 

Another defense of God's existence is the Human Moral Development theory. The idea that evils are important for humans to develop virtues would refute the Problem of Evil. God, through tests and tribulations, allows us to earn compassion, courage, and perseverance. This gives evil a purpose which takes the blame away from God. 

The Onion's article, "Malignant Tumor Sees Every Day as Gift From God" supports this Human Moral Development ideology. The tumor sees doctors' attempts at killing it as tribulations- gifts from God sent to make him stronger. 

Quiz:

1. What did David Hume claim to prove with his 6 premises?
2. What are the 3 characteristics of God, according to Hume's first premise?
3. According to the Free Will Defense, why is there evil?
4. What ideology does the malignant tumor have towards his suffering?

Discussion Questions:

1. Can there be an all-good God who sits back to watch humans suffer?
2. Is evil necessary for us to become virtuous?