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Nic Najjar

This I Believe

Part I The Principles of Success

This essay is a roadmap to living well. If we can live well, we can truthfully call ourselves successful. Success can be defined as gaining mastery in the intra-personal, interpersonal, non-professional, and professional sectors of life. Intra-personally, success is harmony with the self. Harmony is the alignment of one’s thoughts and actions with principles that are aimed towards a definite chief aim which will be different from person to person. Interpersonally, success is manifested in the golden rule, loving each person as I would like to be loved (Confucius), which can be closely followed by developing empathy and sympathy. It looks like mutually beneficial relationships with family, friends, and strangers. Non-professionally, success is actively enjoying the activities of life and savoring every moment in the present. Professionally, success is choosing a passionate line of work that will serve the world. If we can call ourselves successful in these four areas, I believe that we will be happy, and happiness is a wonderful purpose in life. What follows are the principles and roadmaps I follow in order to live a successful life.

            In order begin to live successfully, we must begin with a list of principles to center our life on (Aristotle). To center our lives on anything other than principles is unstable. It is popular to put things like money, people, and experiences at the center of life, but all of these things are constantly changing. For example, if a Wall Street fund manager centers his or her life on money, their life would be meaningless if they went broke in a financial downturn. If a man or woman has people at the center of life, death would be unbearably crippling. If a young man prioritizes having new experiences over everything else, he will be stripped of the potential happiness that marrying and having children can provide. This is not to say that these things do not have a place in creating happiness and meaning in life. Of course having lots of money, meaningful relationships, and unforgettable experiences, make life worth living! They are just not stable enough to be the foundation of life as are principles which never change. They are wholly true and unchanging. This stability is why they should be at the center of life. Everyone’s central principles will be different, and I derive mine from the model that Jesus set forth. We can draw from different role models, experiences, and interpretations of the world to come up with principles that we feel will guide us to live successfully, and I am not worthy to tell another what principles should be at the center of their life. I have eight principles - and their opposites – at the center of my life.

1.    Gratitude, not entitlement – This is a fundamental word that I habitually begin my days with. I wake up and think of everything I am thankful for. This reminds me on a regular basis of the overwhelming good in my life. I can carry this perspective with me throughout my day.

2.    Truth, not rationalization – a wise man is defined as one who sees the truth of the world and acts accordingly. It is essential to see truth because it allows us to create accurate roadmaps to lead us to successful lives.

3.    Balance, not gluttony – The four areas of life that one must succeed in must coexist and balance with one another. Neglecting one area of success will inhibit the ability to live successfully. For example, if we put too much of ourselves towards enjoying our non-professional lives, we will lose the meaning that we derive from our professional work.

4.    Proactivity, not passivity – We cannot always control what happens in life, but we have a responsibility to deal with those happenings. We have the ability to choose our response.

5.    Passion, not apathy – One must care on a fundamental level because we will only get out of life what we put into it. Living apathetically will yield an unfulfilled life.

6.    Focus, not aloofness – We must be in the present moment of our life. It reduces stress and creates happiness by eliminated overwhelming feelings and helping us reach a flow state.

7.    Confidence not fear – One must have a healthy confidence in themselves. This allows them to shine as a unique individual who can offer a one-of-a-kind perspective to the world.

8.    Selflessness, not selfishness – Perhaps the greatest source of happiness can be found in serving the world. To envelop one’s thoughts in oneself is to deprive the self of all the benefits of selflessness.

These are the principles I do my best to live by. There is a simple truth that I will not always live in alignment with these principles as I am an imperfect human being. I simply do my best and know that there is nothing more I can do. As long as I am doing my best, I have nothing to regret.

Part II The Roadmap

We all go about our days with our own assumptions and beliefs. The accuracy of these guidelines are measured by how well they reflect truth and reality. They are our roadmap to the world. Here is a metaphore: If I am trying to find my way around Murfreesboro with a map of Bozeman, Montana the inaccuracy of my map would surely lead me astray. The accuracy of our roadmap is essential to our success, so I have derived two roadmaps for my life: the intrapersonal and the interpersonal.

The Intrapersonal Roadmap

           

I start with the intrapersonal because success in this sector of life is the root of a successful life. If we do not think about things wisely, we will not use the power of our consciousness wisely leading to equally unwise actions. Additionally, if we are not functioning well within ourselves we cannot expect to find success in the interpersonal world we live in. Our intrapersonal life is comprised of three things: perspective, imagination, and action.

Perspective is the root of our intrapersonal lives. Tn a biological and physiological sense, it is how we interpret the information that our senses bring in. We hear words like optimist, pessimist, and pragmatist used to describe one’s perspective, and these words are just fine. I understand perspective through a metaphor of water which always conforms to fit its situation perfectly. For example: if I pour water into a cup the water becomes the cup. I need to shape my perspective to fit my situation in the same way that water conforms to a cup (Bruce Lee). Fitting our perspective can be manifested by looking at things in helpful ways. I have created a small list of what perspectives I have found to be most helpful in certain situations.

-       When life is boring, look on with curiosity because there is always something to be learned in this world.

-       When life is irritating, look on with a giggle of absurdity. There are much more irritating and significant things to focus on.

-       When life is tragic, appreciate that low point because it will make the highs so much sweeter. You must never give in.

-       When life is good, simply be.

Once we begin to go about life with optimize perspective, we are able to begin crafting the second step towards our intrapersonal success: the use of our imagination. Before anything is brought into the physical world, it is created in the imagination as a plan. The detail and premeditation of planning vary greatly, but every action is preceded by the thought to act. The formation of this plan in reality is the second creation. To live well, we must focus our imagination in a positive and productive direction.

            In order to use our imagination in a positive and productive direction we must understand autosuggestion which says that any and all information our senses perceive will be impressed on our subconscious where our thoughts originate. This means our environment shapes our thoughts. From whom we surround ourselves with to how we decorate our bedroom walls, our environments are the captors of our natural thought. Proactivity is the balancing force to our environment. If we can recognize that our environment is leading our thoughts in a harmful direction, we can choose to be proactive and change the direction of our thought or change our environment.

            With an optimize perspective and a helpful imagination in our arsenal, we can begin to focus on the final and most important step towards our intrapersonal effectiveness: action. None of the preceding information matters if it is not put into action. A wise man once said, “knowledge is not power; it is the potential for power.” This quote implies that power is the end goal of action. I would argue that living well is the ultimate goal of action, but the essence of the quote is true. The direction of our lives is decided by our action. We can all relate to knowing the right thing to do, but doing something that will satisfy us in the short term instead. Thankfully, If we have taken on an optimized perspective and decided to use our imagination in a positive way, our actions will be wise. Hopefully, our premeditation will lead us to act within the following two guidelines.

1.    Place as much time as possible in areas of passion. This will avoid getting caught in the thick of thin things which is especially easy to do in 2018 due to the amount of media.

2.    We must always do our best. If we do our best, we will have nothing to regret because we cannot ask more of ourselves than our best. Our best will be different from day to day and moment to moment, so we must be honest and constantly aware of what our best really is.

Upon discovering how to act most effectively, we can begin to make a habit of taking whatever that effective action is. I see habits as the trails that we walk on through the forest of life; the more they are traveled the easier they are to travel, and the only way to quit old habits is to build new trails. After all, we are all going to continue moving forward though the forest on one trail or another. With our perspective, imagination, and action in truthful harmony, we are ready to explore the interpersonal roadmap.

The Interpersonal roadmap

Our fellow human beings are the most important things on Earth. The relationships we all share are one of our greatest sources of happiness, and it is impossible to be completely fulfilled in life without loving others and being loved by others. We live in a world where human interaction is growing rapidly, and our ability to communicate is a major key to success. There are two basic aspects to communication that we must master to achieve interpersonal success: listening to others and expressing our own ideas. I will begin with listening because we should always listen and understand before we speak.

How to listen

1.    We all have two ears and one mouth, so we should communicate in those proportions. Listening is the gateway to knowledge and enrichment.

2.    We communicate more with our body language than our words, so we should pay attention to both.

3.    Do not assume things - it leads to miscommunication – but infer. Have the courage to ask clarifying questions.

How to speak

1.    Clearly – as basic as it is, we must speak clearly. It does not matter what we say if other’s physically cannot hear us.

2.    Concise – Do not use more words than necessary to formulate an idea. It can lead to confusion.

3.    Honestly – Trust is the foundation of every relationship. It is a qualification for having a successful interpersonal life.

By communicating well, we can create cooperative efforts full of synergy which are much more effective than independent efforts. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts in the case of human interaction.

Discussion Questions

1.    What do you currently have placed at the center of your life?

2.    What principles would you put at the center of your life? From where could you derive them?

3.    What are some helpful perspectives you take in difficult situations?

4.    Have you been using your imagination helpfully? Or has it been causing you stress?

Quiz Questions

1.    What is one of the branches of success?

2.    What is one principle and its opposite that life is centered on?

3.    What is autosuggestion?

4.    What is the most important step we can take towards our intrapersonal success?

5.    What philosopher guides my interpersonal views of effectiveness?

6.    What is much more effective than independent effort?