Munich Olympics - INTERNATIONAL PHILOSOPHY - Germany vs. Greece
Today at Olympic Stadium in Munich, Germany, the very best philosophers in the history of the world pit their wits against one another on the ultimate intellectual field.... a soccer field. Here is the starting line ups for both Germany and Greece.
| Germany | Greece |
|---|---|
| Gottfried Leibniz (goalkeeper) | Plato (goalkeeper) |
| Immanuel Kant | Epictetus |
| Georg "Nobby" Hegel (captain) | Aristotle |
| Arthur Schopenhauer | "Chopper" Sophocles |
| Friedrich Schelling | Empedocles of Acragas |
| Franz Beckenbauer | Plotinus |
| Karl Jaspers | Epicurus |
| Karl Schlegel | Heraklitus |
| Ludwig Wittgenstein | Democritus |
| Friedrich Nietzsche | Socrates (captain) |
| Martin Heidegger | Archimedes |
The referee for today's match will be Confucius and the linesmen will be Thomas Aquinas and St. Augustine.
GAME HIGHLIGHTS:
As the opening whistle blows, Hegel and Nietzche begin to discuss and walk towards their own goal and away from the ball. Quickly Nietzche walks away proclaiming that "Hegel is dead", unable to understand anything that Hegel was trying to say, and that probably wont be the last time that happens today. Over on the Greek side of the field Socrates has begun to express his feelings on the subject of rhetoric and maybe he will be done by the time of the next Olympics.... In the front row there is Descartes trying to convince both sides that this is all a dream.
Immanuel Kant on the German side is now seriously considering taking control of the ball and trying to score. However, he is too busy trying to decide if he is doing it for the right reasons. Nietzche has managed to break up the monotony and just received a yellow card for arguing with the referee Confucius after he accused Confucius of having no free will. Karl Marx is now coming in for the Germans and he will look to switch up the teams game plan. Marx is now heading over to the Greek side of the field and is trying to convince Socrates to unite the two teams to overthrow capitalism, Socrates replied with "what is capitalism?" Plato on the other hand is wondering if the game is actually happening infront of him or if he is just seeing the shadow of a game being played by others.
The Greeks seem to be stuck in the pre-dark ages and are really falling behind... despite there being no score. Archimedes currently appears to be working on a mathematical equation for his death ray... yeah he's that guy.... Wait no. Archimedes is sprinting towards the ball, he pushes the ball foward and passes to Socrates who returns the ball quickly back to Archimedes. Long pass to Heraklitus, the ball is put up to Socrates who heads it in for the Score! "The Germans are disputing it! Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an apriori adjunct of non-analytic ethics, Kant by the categoric imperative is holding that ultimologically possessed only in the imagination and Marx is claiming it was off-side!"
Like the Philosopher's Song, clever ways of remembering sometimes overwhelming information makes learning a whole lot easier..... Even if they are complete ludicrousness. Three cheers for Monty Python and their idea of International Philosophy which I have added more theoretical nonsense too. Now I shall leave you with my all time favorite Monty Python sketch,this version taken from the Concert For George Harrison, The Lumberjack Song.
(Fun Fact: Tom Hanks on the bottom right beside Eric Idle)
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