Aristotle, Love, and Selfishness

With so much hate in our world today our generation is faced with the challenge of finding a way to dig ourselves out of this problem.  The United States has had more mass shootings than any other country. Between the years 1967 and 2017 there have been 146 mass shootings in the U.S. Why? What are we teaching (or not teaching) that causes these disasters to occur?  There’s plenty of conflict and debates on gun control and this post is not meant to add to that debate.  Everyone wants to point a finger and blame somebody or something. What if it’s all of our faults? There has been a lot of good media and campaigns for society to be kinder to one another, which I think is necessary for society to survive and prosper. But how do we actually love one another? Complete selfless love for others especially total strangers is something I think humanity struggles with greatly.  Aristotle is one philosopher who has attempted to find what it takes to reach this kind of love.  He states, “things that because friendship is: doing kindness; doing them unasked and not proclaiming the fact when they are done.” (www.iep.utm.edu/love/) This is easier said than done and I know personally I struggle with being the selfless person I want to be. I am human, we all are, and it is not always easy doing something for someone with zero conditions and solely out of the kindness of our hearts. So how do we do this? Aristotle had a few other theories about love that would probably benefit our world greatly if we considered them in our everyday life.  He believed that in order to love others we must first love ourselves. Some might believe that this is selfish, but how can we expect to love and make somebody happy if we can’t do that for ourselves.  Aristotle thought that good and noble men were selfish, but from this selfishness comes virtue and righteous behavior that could bring good to our world (exploringyourmind.com) So maybe the key is not for people to stop being selfish, but to learn to control our selfishness and instead turn it into self-love. Perhaps while were teaching children to love one another we should also emphasize for them to love themselves. Maybe it would be easier to convince people that they themselves are wonderful rather than repeatedly teaching them that other people are. Love should be shared and showed to others, but we need to show some to ourselves as well. Aristotle breaks friendships into three different types: those based on utility, pleasure based, and those grounded in virtue (or fully developed). In the book, Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle is explained as one of the first believers in ethical egoism, the idea that self-love is the most important virtue, and if we all did what was best for ourselves, the world would basically work itself out, without people being selfless.  He didn’t necessarily thick we should only care for ourselves, but rather the care for ourselves would ultimately lead to the care of others. All in all, I think it’s okay to love ourselves. Maybe in our opinionated hate filled world we need more people who love themselves and aren’t so affected by the opinions of small minded people. We hear all the time to “treat people the way we want to be treated” which is great advice but maybe we should start adding in “treat yourself well, and be kind to yourself, then treat others the same way.” Love others, be kind to others but also love yourself. Just some food for thought. 

 “Happiness depends upon ourselves”

-Aristotle