Up@dawn 2.0

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

sad post about death and dogs #9

Today at work, we had to put a dog down due to the number of bites he had. His tongue stuck out, he was goofy as hell, and there wasn’t a single person that didn’t love him. This is the hard part of my job, and it happens more often than I like to admit. Humphrey was a dog whose tongue stuck out of his mouth, he was lazy and a cuddler and just all around a great boy and he was so so loved. But now, I am so so tired.

                When I first did my report on dogs, I wrote about good. I discussed patience and love and all of these good feelings dogs provide you and all of these things they can teach you. But now, with what happened, I have to continue this to talk about what dogs teach us about death and grief.
                
I think some of what frustrates me about euthanasia is that the dog has no idea it’s coming. Humphrey got into a car, and went to vet, and never came back. He didn’t know he was going to face his death, but even in the face of it, he wasn’t afraid. And that is something I find so inspiring. Dogs are brave as hell, and they don’t even know it.

A woman posted her story about her dog Harley who got cancer and I think she puts it best.

“When we bring new dogs or pups into our lives, we subconsciously sign a contract with our dogs to end their lives. We give them a life and we also have to have the courage to let them die with dignity.”
And that’s exactly what we have to do.
                
Most human beings have a terribly hard time we death. We want to extend our lives in any way we can. We don’t want to age because aging = bad in our world. The media plays a big role in that for one thing, but that’s a whole other conversation all together. That’s honestly the sole reason religion even exists, facing death is so hard, that people want there to be something more. I think it’s cool that people can be religious, but it’s not my thing.
                
What I’m getting at here, is that ending a dog’s life gracefully can allow us to see that even though it’s absolute hell and turmoil, death isn’t necessarily so scary. Dogs show us death is a normal part of living. Missing the dog is going to hurt. Hell, each dog that comes in and out of that rescue takes at least a little piece of me, some way more than others (re: Zero). But that doesn’t mean I can’t move on. In May of this year we put down a dog named Marshall. I was a little obsessed with him because he was obsessed with me, but he was dangerous, and I understood it. That being said, it hit me hard. I cried for a few days, and I was sad for longer, but I made it work because I had to.

                It’s not the same as a dog, but now my grandmother is facing Alzheimer’s. And it’s getting pretty bad, pretty fast. That being said, she is slowly but surely reaching her final days as everyone does and it sucks, and it’s painful, but going through the death of these dogs had helped me immensely. Now, I know that they’re not suffering anymore. They’re not unhappy or sick or angry anymore. They don’t have to worry anymore, and if heaven exists, I know that it’s only dogs that can get it because it’s dogs that are truly and utterly pure. You can tell when they look at you. And that gives me a sense of peace about it all. It doesn’t necessarily make it any easier, but dogs being the only death I’ve really experienced, it makes it easier knowing that eventually, when people I love die, I know it will make the process at least that much more manageable.

               
In the next part of my project, I will be discussing grief with dogs. How they help us deal with it, and how to deal with the grief of losing a dog to begin with.

5 comments:

  1. I really really enjoyed reading this, and thank you for what you do. I know that you have to be strong to be able to do that aspect of your job. But onto the topic, yes! i completely agree that animals, dogs especially show us death is just a part of life. When my dog Kobe passed a few years back it hit me HARD, now he was my therapy dog but still it hit everyone hard. I remember just bawling my eyes out everyday, sometimes randomly during the day. That guy was my best bud and I didn't know what to do without him. What I think made everything worse and made my grieving process sooo much longer than the rest of my families was I wasn't there to say goodbye like they were. It was the middle of the semester of 2015, and I was at work when my dad called to tell me. So I guess I was scared it hurt him. But when my mom and I talked months after his passing she told me how this morning before he passed they sat on the deck and watched the sunrise together while she rubbed his ears (That was his favorite thing to do with her). So that gave me peace to move on with my life. But then my grandfather died and it was a lot easier to process. I felt terrible that I was coping well. So reading your post really set in perspective for me that, yeah Kobe in a way prepared me for this death in the family that's why my grieving process was much shorter.

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear about your Kobe! I've been fortunate enough to not have to experience the loss of an actual pet yet, but our Bridget is getting up there in years so it's definitely nerve-wracking to think about her grumpy self not being around. That sounds like a great last day for your boy, and I'm so glad it gave you closure. It sounds like he lived a great life, so thank you and your family for giving that to him. Domestic animals deserve that much from people. I'm also sorry to hear about your grandfather's death, but I'm glad you were able to cope well, even if those skills developed from a negative experience prior. Sorry it took me so long to get back, that finals week struggle!

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  2. We recently had to say goodbye to our old pal Angel. In my life I've had and loved and lost at least a half dozen loyal canine companions. It's never easy, but it is in fact the best possible preparation for the inevitable human losses we all must absorb. As Dr. Seuss (may have) said, don't be excessively sad your friend's life is over - be grateful it happened at all. Same goes for our own lives.

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear about your Angel! I said above that our Bridget is getting old -- nearly 14, now. And I've been preparing for her inevitable death. That's going to do a number on me, but I can endure that just as I can endure any other pain. The bond with a dog runs deep, that's for sure. I like what you said about being grateful our own life happen instead of being sad that they're going to come to an end. I've never thought of it like that, and it's given me quite a bit to ponder about.

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  3. I really like the idea you stated of humans wanting to prolong our lives. I would assume it is our natural survival instincts, and has less to do with age though, but we can clearly see scientists and people in the medical field working hard to lengthen life spans of people, and the beauty industry plays its role in making people want to stay young!

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